A “public” message is one that is given to an individual, but in such a way that everyone in the group hears.

A “private” message is one that is given to an individual, but the individual is taken aside and spoken with outside the earshot of others.

Adults should consider whether a public or a private response is going to be most effective in a particular situation. Use your best judgment to determine the appropriateness of the comment.

• What's best for the individual child?
• What's best for the group of children that is present?

Some questions to ask before making a comment:
Is there an issue of safety involved? (If yes, go public.)
Is one child misbehaving or are many? (If many, go public.)
Is this a teachable moment for the group? (If yes, go public.)
Is a public response likely to create anger and frustration?

In general, it is best to give:
Positive messages publicly.
Negative messages privately.

Continue on to "Understand and Avoid the 'Coercive Cycle' "